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No Resolutions in This New Year

[ 0 ] February 6, 2012 |

This year I decided to do something a little different. No big New Years resolution that will fail, no revolution, no diet plan, no new exercise equipment. No buying into the hype and starting the year in debt. Instead, I decided to reflect upon my life. The things that make me happy, the things that make me sad. The things that feed my soul. I thought about all the people in my life; who brings me joy and who steals my joy. Who takes advantage of me?  Who feeds my spirit?

I put the self centered husband and the selfish teenager on the back burner. I just cut them off. It hit me Christmas morning just how much I am taken for granted.  Christmas is quite the event in my house, it is also my son’s birthday. This year was especially joyous because it was his 18th birthday. Also, it would be the first Christmas that I would spend with my father in 40 years.  The entire family was coming. I decorated inside and out. I was planning for Christmas dinner and for a birthday party.  ( I take special care to separate the birthday from Christmas so my son doesn’t feel slighted.) I hosted 13 overnight guests and 2 damn dogs  for the holiday week-end. I don’t even have a dog.  Cleaning house, changing linens, washing towels, polishing silver, setting the table, planning Christmas Eve festivities and cooking Christmas dinner for twenty people. I wanted this to be a Christmas sent straight from heaven. After all, I knew that was exactly where it came from. My angel mother giving us our Dad for Christmas, giving us the entire family for my son’s 18th birthday celebration.

So I wake up Christmas morning and jump straight in the shower. Dinner was at 3:00 sharp and I had to get that turkey on. I was rushing because I couldn’t wait to get downstairs and watch my son open his Christmas presents.  By the time I got downstairs, not only had he opened his Christmas presents, he had opened his birthday presents too. That’s right,  he had opened all 18 birthday presents that I had individually wrapped, without me. I never got to see the look on his face as he pulled cold cash out of each and every box. Boy were my feelings hurt. I missed my nieces and nephews opening their gifts too. But no time to feel sorry for myself, I still had a turkey, a ham and a prime rib  to get in the oven before we left for our annual birthday breakfast at IHop.  It wasn’t until I sat down for breakfast that I realized I had only one present to open. That was a very thoughtful gift from my brother-in-law, a candle for my zen room. He was the only person who cared enough to really put some thought into what I would make me happy after I had worked so had to make this a special Christmas for everyone.  Ok, so my son got me socks but forgot to give them to me until I asked. My husband got me zip, zero, nothing. Want to know what he got, a 1080p flat screen tv with built in dvd player, an invictus watch, cologne, etc etc.

This year, my world will be quite different. The men in my life are already feeling the pain. Yesterday, my husband gets up and made breakfast for himself. I didn’t say a word. Boy was he surprised when he got home from work to watch the Superbowl and had no dinner. I mean no bean dip, no wing things, no chips, no nothing! My son, is so broke that he cannot afford to take his girlfriend to the movies. I wonder what he is going to do for Valentines day. Oh well, these things are no longer my problem.

It’s a new year. I will change the things that I can, accept the things I cannot and continue to pray for the wisdom to know the difference. I will focus on the things that make me happy. I will eliminate the stress in my life. This is my revolution.  I will sew. I will read.  I will swim. I will do some volunteer work.  I haven’t sewn or read a book in years, too busy. Too busy working, too busy managing the household, too busy fixing everyone else’s problems but my own. I will eat what I want to eat and not what my husband wants to eat. I bet I’ll loose 20 pounds real easy and without some fad diet. I will stop spending all my money on them. Instead, I will save for a pool this spring, that’s another 20 pounds I will loose. By the end of this year, I will be well read, well dressed, and 40 lbs thinner.

If I do the things that are healthy for me, spend time doing the things that feed my soul and stop carrying the weight of the whole family, everything else will fall into place. Do you agree? Add a comment. Let us know what you are doing to change your life this year. We want to know. Its all about women helping women.

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Category: "A Place To Rant and Rave", MadWife

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