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My Ex, Child Support and His Dying Mistress

[ 0 ] February 12, 2013 |

child support

My Ex, Child Support and His Dying Mistress

Last night at 10pm, I get a phone call from my ex-husband. I’m looking at the caller ID saying, what the hell does he want. Ill, Ill. Every time he calls I just shiver. He usually is calling to hit on me! Like I would ever even think to go there again. It doesn’t seem to matter to him that I am married. I swear, the shit we do when we are young. The only good thing about that relationship is that I got my sweet pea.

Well sweet pea is now 19 years old and in his first year of college. My ex is still paying child support, the arrears. I left that fool because he was a lying, drugging, woman hitting womanizer. When my baby was a newborn some women used to call my house on a regular for him . She didn’t just call, she was brazen about her shit. She would ask for him. When I said, “he is not here right now, that B would say “ok, just tell him Kim called”. Hell he was probably laying right there with her.

At first I stayed, wanting my son to have a father, like I never had. We need to break that cycle too- another story.  But as time passed, his behavior got worse and worse. One day I found some keys in the kitchen drawer. My son, 3 years old at the time, looked up at me and said “They are bad keys mommy, they belong to “the cake lady”. It was not until years after our divorce that I found out that the cake lady was none other than Kim herself. Kim was just one of many. Let’s see, there was also my mother’s best friend.  Others too. She was worst than Kim. She used to ride by the house and steal our mail, call and threaten me, just to name a few. By now, he had started using drugs. I think he pimped himself out to her. Don’t worry, I stayed but I wasn’t that stupid. I had been cut him off from getting any of this booty.

By the time my son was 4, this idiot had starting putting his hands on me. It was then that I opened my eyes and realized that my son would grow up acting just like that fool if I did not get away from him. It was bad enough the boy looked just like his father had spit him out. He did not need to act like him too. I set my plan in motion. I had to get a job. As mean as he was, I didn’t work and I didn’t want for anything.  He was very generous with his money, guilt maybe. I got two jobs, banked every penny and left that fool like a thief in the night. Literally. That’s another story too.

When I left, I never took my ex-husband to court for child support.  Like I said, he was generous. He gave me money, paid my rent, whatever I asked for….until he got wind of the new man I was dating.  I eventually married that man. Husband number 3, yet another story. Hubby #3, insisted that I take baby daddy to court for child support.

We were in and out of court all of the time. He kept taking me to court to lower the child support. I think every time he took me to court, the new child support order would override the previous one. Next thing I know, he stopped paying ant support at all and the court didn’t seem to notice. Looking back, that was his plan. He must have had inside information. It was all a plot. A plot him and the “cake lady” probably cooked up. Yeah, not only was he still with her ghetto welfare ass, they had two babies. He even had the balls to not sign the divorce papers when Kim had their first baby, her third baby, in her belly. I let the child support go for a while but eventually took him back to court for non-payment. Till this day, the child support still comes out of his paycheck.

So now Kim is on her death bead. She has had pancreatic cancer for some time now. I wish her no harm and certainly not death. I certainly don’t want to see two innocent children grow up without a mother. When the ex- calls last night, very distressed, he tells me Kim has a week to live. He will be without her social security. He said it’s not much given the fact that she hasn’t worked in twelve years. However, it did provide him with some financial relief. He is not making the kind of money he was when I was married to him. His life has been in a downward spiral for years. I mean why make more babies. Anyway, he asked me to drop the child support order. “I will be a single parent with two children 7 and 10 years old”, he says. So I’m asking him, “what about our child in college?. I recall being a single mother and you not paying your child support.” In fact, he was an absentee father all together.  It’s bad enough that child support stops at age 18. The legal system does not provide child support for children in college. Something really needs to be done about that. I am only still getting child support because of the arrearage he owes. College tuition is all on me and my husband. Financial aid did not even consider the fathers income, or hold him accountable. Any aid my son received (and it wasn’t much) was based solely on the income of the custodial parent and the step-parent. This is a flaw in our system that needs to be fixed!

So I ask you, should myself, my husband and my son be held accountable for the way other people choose to live their lives?  My husband and I bust our butts everyday. We work 6-7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day to provide a college education for our son. We too, have suffered a loss of income in this economy. We have sacrificed new cars just to keep our home. Where does charity begin? Where does it end?

What would you do? Please comment below.

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Category: Confessions of a Madwife

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